Science says Complaining about your bad boss makes it worse

Science says Complaining about your bad anfhrer makes it worseScience says Complaining about your bad boss makes it worseTheres nothing more cathartic than a proper bitch session when your boss is being unreasonable, but the coworker you confide in has the power to hurt your career - and not in the way youd think.According to a recent study in the Academy of Management Journal, slamming your boss to a colleague, particularly a passive listener, can make you angrier, more pessimistic, and a worse employee.When people are upset, their natural inclination is to vent to someone who validates their feelings by saying things like, Wow, you were really wronged, says study author Michael Baer, a professor at Arizona State University. But that type of feedback isnt best if you want to get over a negative situation.In the two-part study, Baer and his team asked 170 bus drivers how fairly theyre treated by their supervisors, how they express frustration to coworkers, and the type of feedback t hey receive from their vent sessions.They found that drivers who vented to passive listeners - those who said things like, Youre totally right and Yeah, you got screwed - felt angrier and more unforgiving of their bosses, less optimistic that the situation would improve, and started slacking on the job.Their supervisors noticed. When researchers followed up with the bosses after a period of time, the above employees almost uniformly received poor reviews. These employees were less willing to go the extra mile at work, says Baer. Their lack of effort wasnt conscious, but because they were angry, they were less motivated to impress their bosses.Things looked a lot different for the drivers who vented to colleagues who reframed their problems by saying things like, Maybe there was a reason for that, Things arent so bad, or What was your part in it?They did not get angrier, feel less hopeful or unforgiving, and their job wertmiger zuwachs didnt suffer after the conversation, says Baer .Similar results were proved in the lab - researchers assigned a group of students an anagram project to complete independently for five minutes, then asked the proctor to annoy the subjects by announcing that time was up after only three minutes. The proctor then said, The way I grade these is well, never mind. You dont need to know. Its not like undergraduates get or care about these things anyway and incorrectly graded the tests, giving only partial credit for peoples work.Once subjects were sufficiently pissed off, they were paired with people with either reframing or passive listening skills. While the former group mucksmuschenstill felt angry, they were more hopeful and forgiving the latter seethed, even refusing the proctors request to help clean the classroom before they left.Its absolutely true that venting feels good- sharing a painful experience can minimize sadness and anger, help sort through complicated feelings, and in cases where people share your pain (like collea gues who suffer under the same boss) complaining serves as a social glue.However, both parties are responsible for any negative outcomes and should try for a positive one. If a coworker is upset, do your best to have their back and ask objective questions that help diffuse their anger. It can be tough to strike the right balance between reframing and supporting the person, says Baer. But we still need to try.If youre the one complaining, ask yourself, Do I want to stay mad or move on? Research published in the Journal of Social Psychology found that complaining, but with the hope of problem-solving, can actually make people happier. Its also important to confide in the right person, says Baer. Or have a mix of people to talk to - one for venting and another whos good at helping you see things differently.Thispostoriginally appeared onShondaland.com.